


bruised knuckles and busted lips

by aanathemaa



Series: to the moon and beyond [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Or More Like, References to Drugs, sirius being sirius, sirius black feels things in his own way, you just have to read between the lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25962265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aanathemaa/pseuds/aanathemaa
Summary: This, like many things Sirius did, was not part of a thought-out plan.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Original Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, hints of
Series: to the moon and beyond [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883731
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of a series, but can be read as a standalone
> 
> hope you enjoy it <3

This, like many things Sirius did, was not part of a thought-out plan. He did have the habit of ending up on Remus' sketchy street, where you never knew if you were gonna be murdered or score some weed (stay with us Remus, Lily had told him once, twice, a hundred times), but he never really planned on it. Things happened though, as much as Sirius wished they didn't, so he just hoped his newly acquired black eye and busted lip would be enough to scare the dealers away. There was a time and place for weed and tonight he needed something else.

He checked the time and cursed himself for never paying attention to it in the first place. 00:43. Yes, time was a social construct or whatever, but not for Remus' sleeping schedule and how frankly grumpy he managed to get when anything or anyone disturbed it. Still, Sirius was already in front of his building and he'd rather not go back through the dark alleys before the sun decided to rise again. Remus would just have to deal with it. 

Knowing full well that the elevator was somehow always broken, he took the stairs two at a time and found himself in front of his friend's door, panting slightly. It took about seventeen knocks for SIrius to assume that Remus probably wasn't home. He would have insisted, but then Mrs. Norris, always a delight, growled through the door that Remus was, in fact, not home and Sirius would do well to scurry off.

It was quite weird, Sirius mused, because yeah, Remus was really fun, but he was hardly a party animal, and most often than not he had the social habits of an introverted grandmother (which, by the way, was perfectly fine with Sirius) so he was rarely out this late, unless dragged out by Lily, James or Sirius himself.

But then a thought occured to him that made him feel even shittier. During the past two weeks, Remus had turned down Sirius' invitation to get shitfaced with the Potters (which meant just James since Lily had been banned from drinking for the next eight months or so, and was appaled by the idea of dealing with them sober) or binge something on Netflix twice, casually saying that he was "seeing someone". He did come around every other day to spend time with them (more with Lily really, but he did help Sirius with his last minute art project), however not nearly as much as he used to before. 

This whole ordeal had already sucked but thinking of Remus sleeping over at this mysterious person's place made everything worse. WIth that in mind, Sirius felt crushed for a total of three minutes before he remembered that he had no concept of privacy or bounderies, especially when it came to the one person that was on his mind 24/7. He quickly fished his jacket for his phone.

**INSTAGRAM (23)**

[...]

[19:02] marlenemk liked your photo

[19:03] **(marlenemk):** miss you dum dum

[19:03] **(marlenemk):** let's meet when you're free

[19:27] gild.lockheart liked your photo

[22:18] **(prongs):** lily says i cant keep mint chocolate in the house anymre

[22:18] **(prongs):** bc she might confuse it with 'real' chocolate and vomit 

[22:19] (prongs) sent an **[image](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e2/be/de/e2bedeae63dc9bbedb9163da3f6ca274.jpg)**

SIrius snorted. He knew he could count on James to intentionally and unintentionally cheer him up. But the war against the tyrant Lily had to wait. Even if she was right, mint chocolate _was_ disgusting, James was his brother and he would never abandon him like that. Besides, Lily owed him 10£ from that "E.T. will make you cry, I swear!" bet. He didn't shed a single tear. Not until he was in his room by himself anyway. 

[01:04] **moony!!!!**

[01:04] **you arnt homeee**

"Are you still here?" he heard Mrs. Norris growl again and decided it was time go before he found himself in a cauldron as a meal for her cats. His phone beeped just as he got to the bottom of the stairs and out of the building.

[01:06] Sirius? Are you at my place right now?

[01:08] **yeS?**

[01:10] Of course

[01:10] You know, most people call or text their friends

[01:10] Before they visit them at 

[01:10] 1 in the morning?

[01:11] **do we knw each other moony?**

[01:11] Fair point

[01:12] **so whre are u at this**

[01:12] **dare i say**

[01:12] **ungodly hour??**

[01:15] Busy

[01:16] **moonyy**

[01:16] **are you**

[01:17] **are you on a date??**

[01:19] Yes

[01:19] **wait really?**

[01:21] ..No

[01:21] **so where are u then moony**

[01:21] **...**

[01:22] **moony?**

[01:23] Fuck, fine

[01:23] I don't live there anymore

[01:23] **wait what??**

[01:23] **what do u mean??**

[01:23] I moved Pads

[01:23] **u moved???**

[01:23] **movd where???**

[01:23] **sincer when??**

[01:24] **dont tell me u r going back to wales as we speak??**

[01:24] No, not yet

[01:24] But I think I will

[01:24] **im not spending anther summer without you!!**

[01:24] **last year sucked**

[01:24] **what about lily n james?**

[01:25] **i might jst have a heart attack right hre**

[01:25] **moony tell me where u r right now**

[01:25] **please**

[01:26] It's late Sirius

[01:26] Talk tomorrow?

[01:27] **i kinda dont wanna go home**

[01:27] **thats why i was here**

[01:27] **shit day**

[01:27] **i dnt want to ruin james and lily's mood**

[01:27] Ottery St Catchpole 12

[01:27] What happened?? 

[01:28] **thanks moony**

[01:28] **tell you when i get there**

[01:28] Be safe please

Sirius decided he was not waiting for an Uber in this place just so someone could harvest his organs so he slowly made his way to the main street through the dimly lit alleys. And he was about to make it too had it not been for a group of wankers who suddenly crossed his path. Sirius was not in the mood. 

"You lost man?" one of them asked, placing a heavy hand on Sirius' shoulder, and for a second he actually seemed confused. Sirius shrugged off his hand with a glare and the guy smirked.

"Back the fuck away," he warned while evaluating just how badly this might end. Sirius could admit he was pretty stupid at times, but not stupid enough to think he could take four guys. That was James' department. 

"Aw, Barty, look at him," another one sniggered, "rich boy thinks he's tough." 

"Why don't you strip off that nice jacket and we'll let you be on your way?" a third one offered.

And yeah, that wasn't going to happen.

The leather jacket had been a gift from Ms. Potter when he turned eighteen and graduated, after he got kicked out by father for the fourth time that year for refusing to attend the university of his choice. After that he mostly lived with James, whether it was at his parents' place or at his and Lily's house. Ms. Potter had refused to let him pay rent back then, but James needed less convincing when Sirius threteaned him with the silent treatment for a month. Little did James know Sirius would have probably given up after one week. Still, regardless of whatever help James' and Lily's parents provided for them, he refused to be a leech. 

"Sorry, no deal." he simply said before punching the Barty dude and running for dear life. The idiots stopped to look as their friend staggered backwards and almost fell onto his ass before Sirius heard him shout.

"The fuck are you waiting for? Grab him!" 

Sirius ran for what seemed like forever before he finally lost them. Out of breath and knuckles stinging, he managed to call an Uber.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After tripping on almost everything in his path and, shockingly, not breaking a toe, he managed to reach the door. It wasn't that he was reeling with excitement to see his friend (and if he was, he'd never admit it), but considering he had just moved in, being stabbed over Sirius Black having ants in his pants was not the housewarming gift he was looking for. 

Remus wasn't a shopaholic by any means, he couldn't really be able to afford it even if he wanted to, but somehow he was always taken aback by the number of things he owned, especially when they were all lying around on the floor of his new apartment (if you could call it that). But truthfully, it wasn't that big of a surprise. Whether it was an old t-shirt that barely fit him anymore or a broken record player, Remus had an ingrained inability to let it go.

Not that he'd admit it to his friends, who often accused him of being a hoarder. He just couldn't throw stuff away, be it for sentimental value or because he _might_ need it eventually. 

Still, the search for a new place and the mess of the move had stressed him out quite a bit, and hiding it from his friends only made matters worse, a sense of guilt looming over him as he recalled how curious Lily had been about what Remus deemed as 'being busy'. She could always tell when there was something wrong with him and Remus really appreciated that about her, but sometimes it was better to keep her in the dark and not make her worry. Lily had the tendency to turn into a mother hen and pester him about moving in with her and James (and Sirius too, most often than not), which sounded great in theory because Remus loved the Potters (the two that were already there and the one on the way), but they were his friends, not his personal bank account. It would make him feel really shitty to just lean on them whenever he encountered trouble, especially when they were expecting.

Thankfully though, Lily didn't insist too much on calling him out on his lies. She just told him she was there for him, no matter what ( _we can hide the body, don't worry, we got you_ ), and offered him one of those particular smiles that instantly made you feel better. 

But the truth of the matter was that this shabby apartment, which somehow looked even worse than his previous one, was going to become just as unaffordable if he didn't hear back from any employers soon. Remus knew history students weren't exactly top of the market, but he hoped someone would take pity on him, and Mr Slughorn even gave him a written recommendation, stating he was great at organizing things and entertaining costumers interested in essential oils. It wasn't much to go by, but Remus knew how to work a small shop. 

Unfortunately for him, Mr Slughorn had decided that ship would fare better in another city and Remus confessed that he couldn't just leave everything, everyone, behind for this shop. Mr Slughorn had been sympathetic, of course, and wished him luck. Remus certainly needed it because his only other option was to move back in with his mother and he was trying to avoid that at all costs. She absolutely loved him and would welcome him back with open arms, but she had enough on her plate and Remus really didn't want to disappoint her like that. 

Besides, he wanted to stay here, with Lily and Sirius and James and all of his friends. And Sirius... 

It was kind of amusing really, the way he always gravitated towards Sirius, no matter how much distance he had tried to put between them before. The beginning had been hell for Remus, who stuttered and tripped and could barely breathe in Sirius' presence, but it had gotten easier over the years. Not that his feelings faded away, quite the opposite actually, but he also slowly understood that some things are just not meant to happen and are better left alone. Learning to live with these feelings wasn't easy, but Remus also knew that Sirius' friendship was a gift in itself. 

What also made it easy, and Remus knew he was going to hell for feeling this way, was that while Sirius went on numerous dates and obviously had his fair share of experiences, he never really settled down with any girl long term. Remus did meet some of these girls, all of them pretty and bold and so unlike him, and he'd lie if he said he didn't spend time comparing, trying to figure out Sirius' type. He had failed to do so though, mostly because they were all different, unique in their own way, but ultimately not made to keep Sirius' interest long enough. And this in itself made Remus wonder who would be the person to finally make Sirius grow roots. 

On the other hand, Remus rarely ever dated. He did like most of his ex-boyfriends, they were pleasant enough, but there were no sparks and nothing to write home about. Maybe it wasn't nice of him, but most of the men he dated were part of his attempt to see whether he could fall in love with somebody else along the way and forget how often he dreamed of Sirius' lips against his.

With a sigh, his attention returned to the boxes on the floor of his living room (an unfurnished, 7x10ft room really), where half of his things still laid unpacked. He was quite tired and on top of everything he had to do, he was worrying over Sirius Black, who couldn't conform to social norms if his life depended on it, and who was now wondering about Remus' old, shady neighbourhood, probably sticking out like a sore thumb and getting in trouble for it. It was way past midnight and he was taking his sweet time, which only added to Remus' fears.

Remus had called him twice to check if he was alright but there had been no answer. When the third time failed as well, Remus thought about how much he hated Sirius, and then proceeded to laugh at how untrue that statement was.

He was lazily putting away some books on the French Revolution when Sirius almost gave him a heart attack with a loud knock. 

"Coming!" Remus shouted, a little breathless from the scare, but Sirius did not stop knocking.

After tripping on almost everything in his path and, shockingly, not breaking a toe, he managed to reach the door. It wasn't that he was reeling with excitement to see his friend (and if he was, he'd never admit it), but considering he had just moved in, being stabbed over Sirius Black having ants in his pants was not the housewarming gift he was looking for. 

He opened the door ready to glare at Sirius for his impatience (what did he even expect?), but then his mouth fell open and his eyes grew wider and his heart started beating at a much faster pace. Right there, in the barely lit hallway, stood Sirius, black eye and a busted lip, grinning like an idiot, his face brightening up the instant his gaze fell on Remus. 

"Hi Moony." he greeted, cheerful but uncharacteristically quiet about it.

Remus' just stared, unsure of what to say. He knew very well that life with Sirius meant that you were constantly on a rollercoaster, drowning one moment and coming up for air the next, but it had been a while since he and James had gotten themselves in significant trouble that ended with either of them hurt. Still, he also knew Sirius had a smart mouth and while Remus mostly loved that about the man, it did mean that he was prone to get into fights with people.

The thrill of causing mischief had always been close to Remus' heart, but Sirius preferred to be bold when he caused chaos.

"What-" Remus swallowed, "Whappened happened?" he stepped closer, heart hammering in his chest while his fingers moved to hover over Sirius' left eyebrow. Sirius batted his hand away but otherwise didn't move.

"I'm late, I know" he sighed with a dramatic but familiar flair, "I got distracted by a really cute dog on my way here and-"

"Sirius."

"-had to find a store that was still open so I could get him some food but-"

"Sirius, I meant your face." Remus said then, a bit louder than he intended, mostly because Sirius had this amazing talent to frustrate him at the worst possible time, "Your eye and lip are all bruised up." he continued, lowering his tone. 

"Oh," Sirius said then, sounding surprised, like he had forgotten about it, and laughed, "well," he ignored Remus and instead peered over his shoulder, "aren't you going to invite me inside?" 

With that, Remus remembered that they were standing in the hallway and he was suddenly aware of how close he was to Sirius' face. He breathed in and took a step back, hands shaking slightly. 

"Come on then," he turned around and walked inside, leaving the door open, "before Freddy Krueger gets us." 

At that, Sirius laughed again, a bubbly sound that always woke up the butterflies in Remus' stomach and forced him to smile, even if briefly. He followed Remus inside, closing the door behind him, and Remus hurried to a pile of boxes to look for a first aid kit. It really did come in handy when most of your friends were accident-prone, yourself included.

"Freddy is way cooler than your old neighbours anyway." Sirius huffed, and Remus could hear him move around, bumping into things, "Mrs Norris was ready to feed me to her cats again and some twats wanted to steal my jacket." 

Remus' hand stopped rummaging then, turning around with a frown.

"What?"

"Moony, try to keep up!" Sirius almost whined, earning himself a glare.

"Sirius, it's almost the devil's hour and I've barely slept for the past two days." Remus gesticulated with his hand and Sirius smiled instantly, which only added to Remus' annoyance, "I'm allowed to be a little thrown off by you showing up at my door with bruises all over."

"Do you want me to leave Moony?" Sirius asked, amused and obviously playing with him, but there was something underneath his smile that genuinely unsettled Remus. Remus sighed.

"What I want is for you to tell me what happened. Did some guys beat you?"

"They tried to," Sirius rolled his eyes with a smirk, "they couldn't catch me though. I'm just that fast." he declared, plopping himself down on the mattress that still stood in the middle of the living room.

"Uh-huh," Remus deadpanned, crossing his arms. His eyes roamed on Sirius' face to make a point, "so who caught you then?" 

Sirius looked down at his hands for a little bit, his smile even emptier. 

"So why did you move here?" he asked instead, looking around, avoiding Remus' eyes and questions. Remus was tired. "Not for nothing, but it looks even more luxurious than your last apartment." he chuckled.

Remus groaned, throwing an old shirt at Sirius. 

"First of all, fuck you," he faked a smile, "second of all, don't change the subject. Did you fight some guys over your jacket or what?" he asked again, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah," Sirius said then, finally meeting Remus' eyes, something untranslatable in them, "this," he gestured to his face with a bitter smile, "is my dad's work." 

That was enough for Remus to suddenly realize that this wasn't about some stupid street scuffle, but rather about the poor excuse of a father (or mother really) Sirius had and how he didn't miss a chance to let Sirius know he was a disappointment to his family. It didn't matter to him if the message came through with words or fists. Still, it had been a while since Sirius had been hit, a thought that turned Remus' stomach by itself, and that was because Sirius rarely met the rest of his family anymore. If he ever went there, he went for his brother, Regulus.

"Sirius," The lump of worry in Remus' chest quickly turned into anger and he felt his whole body tense up as he approached the other man, "why did you go?"

Sirius shrugged. "I had to let them know that I wouldn't be attending any more dinners where I'm forced to socialize with strangers they want to marry me with."

Remus felt his cheeks heat up with anger, wishing he could let Sirius' parents know how disgusting they were. He wished he could slash their tires and egg their house or something. He wished Sirius wouldn't be in this position. 

Remus sat down on the floor in front of his friend, searching his eyes. 

"They're such cunts." he spat out, "Can't believe he decked you for this." 

Sirius didn't say anything at first. There was a peculiar look in his grey eyes as he examined Remus. He had this annoying ability to make one feel like they were alone on a stage under the pressure of his attention. Remus suddenly didn't know if anger was the only thing that caused his face to turn a shade redder.

"Well," Sirius finally said, a small smile playing his lips, probably entertained by Remus' growing discomfort with their staring contest, "it wasn't just that." he explained.

If Remus didn't know any better, he'd say that Sirius' glanced at his lips for a second.

"I also told them that I'm bisexual and in love with my best friend." 

Time must have stopped at this point. Remus wasn't sure whether what he heard was a figment of his imagination or actual words that came out of Sirius' mouth, but what he knew was that he felt frozen into place, his mind spiralling down a rabbit hole of thoughts. Was this some type of joke? Was he supposed to laugh now? He didn't even know if he was capable of it, seeing as his heart was beating a tattoo on his ribs and his breath was caught in his throat. 

_Bisexual? How?_

Remus knew it wasn't okay to just assume people were straight, but he'd been Sirius' friend for years and the man never mentioned being interested in anything other than girls. And not to be crass, but he actually had posters of women all over his bedroom's walls, like some typical jock, even if Remus knew he was far from that.

The posters were almost vulgar, like the kind boys drooled over before they discovered porn videos, and they kind of made Remus uncomfortable when James sneaked him in for the first time, but he didn't say anything. Truth to be told, these posters always seemed out of place. Sure, Sirius was popular, played football like he was born for it and the ladies swooned over him, but he wasn't a very hormonal teenager, eager to stick his dick in whoever paid him attention and catcalling girls like it was cool. 

But they were just posters after all, Remus mused. Maybe, just maybe, Sirius didn't feel safe to discuss his sexuality with his friends. The thought alone was ridiculous to Remus because they all found out he was gay two months before their A-Levels when they spotted him making out with Benjy Fenwick. Remus had decided there was no point in making up some silly excuse so he just admitted to it and was beyond thankful when they didn't make him feel any different. Had Sirius said something, Remus would have never made fun of him. He knew, he _understood_. 

Maybe Sirius' problem wasn't that he was bisexual though, maybe it was the fact that he was in love with James. If Remus hadn't been so crushed by this new information, he'd have sympathized more than he could at the moment. It made sense though; Sirius and James had been inseparable since they met, a couple of years before they attended Hogwarts Academy together and befriended Remus, and Remus always knew Sirius loved James (and vice versa), but he never realized just how deep that love went.

"Remus, please say something." Sirius whispered, bringing Remus out of his thoughts and making the hairs on his arms stand up. 

"I'm sorry," Remus said, voice husky, "I was just taking it all in. I," he breathed, "I'm happy you told me, Sirius. I know this wasn't easy and I'm here for you whenever you need my support." 

Sirius, for his part, titled his head and looked confused, if slightly amused. Remus frowned too, just as confused. 

"Did you, uh, tell James?"

"Yes," Sirius answered without hesitation, "like months ago. Why?"

Remus' frown deepened.

"Well, how did he take it?" 

"He said he always suspected something, but he didn't want to say anything before I did. He's really happy."

Remus blinked, puzzled. Maybe there was even more to this whole thing than he anticipated. 

"Uh," he brought a hand to his neck, "that's good. What about Lily though?" 

Sirius looked at him like he had grown another head and somehow he resembled a lost pup, which Remus didn't want to think about right now when he was possibly about to find out that James was absolutely down with this love triangle. Lily was probably none the wiser because she would have said something, right? She would have, wouldn't she?

"What about Lily?"

Remus almost pinched the bridge of his nose in confusion and exasperation.

"Doesn't she get a say if you decide to snog James?" 

Sirius stared at him for what felt like an eternity, stunned for some reason, and Remus was about to say something when Sirius erupted with laughter. The sound of it, bouncing harshly off of the walls of the apartment, almost made Remus jump, and he didn't know what he did to deserve this reaction. 

When Sirius finally settled down enough to breathe, he shook his head and rubbed his right eye with the ball of his palm, still chuckling. 

"What's so funny?" Remus asked, annoyed. 

"Remus," Sirius started, humour still in his eyes, "what gave you the impression that I want to snog James?" 

"You just told me!" Remus cried, like he couldn't believe Sirius was in the mood for games. He was too tired for this. 

"No," Sirius shook his head again with an easy smile, "I said I was in love with my best friend. I didn't say which one of them." 

It was Remus' turn to stare. What was this boy playing at? 

"I don't get it." Remus outright glared, at his wits' end, "Who could it possibly be if it isn't James?" he asked, impatient, "If it is James, I won't judge you, Sirius, you know that."

"Oh my God!" Sirius groaned, his hands moving to his temples, "It's you, you big fool." 

"What?" 

"How much clearer do you want me to say it?" Sirius asked, looking a little flushed. "It's hard enough as it is." 

"Are you joking right now?" Remus' eyebrows were up to his hairline, mouth agape.

"Yes, Remus, because I would get punched, disowned, almost mugged and risk ruining our friendship just to come here and play a stupid joke on you." Sirius huffed, a little annoyed by the assumption. When Remus didn't say anything for a while, possibly because his whole life was being turned upside down, Sirius continued, his voice softer this time.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same, Moony. I just," he paused, obviously trying to put his thoughts into words, "it's been almost three years. I couldn't live like that anymore. My feelings weren't going away and I was stuck in this loop," he sighed, "I just wanted to be honest. With you, with my parents, with James. I just wanted to be honest." 

Sirius looked so much smaller now, like Remus' silence was weighing on him quite a bit. Remus swallowed, his mouth dry, and the butterflies in his stomach flipped and turned like crazy. 

"I'm sorry, I just thought I was in a very vivid dream for a moment," he looked down, trying to will his heart to settle down, and quietly said, "because I've dreamed of this since I met you." 

"What, really?" Sirius asked like he had trouble believing it and all Remus could do was nod. They stood like that for a while, feelings hanging heavy in the air between them, before Sirius made a strange sound and cupped Remus' face, forcing him to face up and crushing their lips together. Remus almost gasped in the kiss, feeling weak in the knees without even sitting up.

Sirius kissed just like Remus imagined he did so many times, with boldness and desperation. It made Remus really dizzy, like he'd just downed a couple of shots, a warm buzz flooding his body.

Still, it didn't take a long time for Remus to pull away, eyes wide while he tried to catch his breath. Sirius whined and tried to chase his lips again but Remus moved out of the way.

"They actually disowned you?" 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

"Not important right now." he stated and pulled Remus into another kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta and my native language isn't English so please be kind. :D


End file.
